People, I have an important announcement to make…
*drum roll*
The curtains are done.
*triumphant fanfare by kazoo chorus*
We’ll put them up today and I’ll take pics. I’m so excited. I have a nasty habit of losing interest and not completing projects, but I did it! I painted, stripped, sanded, stained AND curtained my office! I’d like to put up some pictures in here, but I have to save my pennies for some frames and prints of my fav pictures out of my photography portfolio. Guess I’ll have to have some bare walls for a little while.

I’m having a technical stumper. Anyone that knows me, knows that when I’m stumped technically, it’s just a matter of time until I figure out a way through, over, or around it. Because Dory don’t play, yo. But I have this digital picture frame and I put pics on an SD Card, but some won’t show up on the frame. In file mode, some are are invalid files. I can’t find the common denominator. They are all 480 x 234 pixels (the dimension of the screen) at 96dpi, all RGB not CMYK, all .jpg not .jpeg. They do have different color profiles; some have Adobe 1998, some are sRGB, and some are Camera specific. But out of all those profiles, some of them work in each profile, so I don’t think that’s it. Also, something weird in the same situation; there’s 290 pics with a total size of about 34mb and the card is 512mb but if I select all the pics and drop it on the card, I get the error that there is not enough memory to copy all the files onto the card. But if I drop the folder of pics onto the card, it will copy onto the card. I’ve tried it both on my Mac (I heart you, Edgrr the Mac) and on PC via Virtual PC that I have installed on Edgrr. I don’t have a “real” PC to troubleshoot on, just Virtual PC. Ideas, anyone?
What with the curtain project taking up a lot of my time (it took hours and hours, not exaggerating!) I think my graphic technical skills are slipping. I need some quality time with my Adobe training DVDs to get back on top of my game.

I’ve had a couple mildly encouraging nudges on the job front. A guy emailed me to see if I’d be interested in a designer position at his screen/embroidery shop in Washington. But it’s at a screening/embroidery shop, which won’t pay me the money I need, and it’s in Washington, which is an too long a drive. But at least I know valid employers are looking at my resume. And it’s September 1st which is the closing date on the position I want the most, so they should start calling people in for interviews after the holiday.
Also, since it’s September 1st, we are officially 60 days behind on our mortgage. So they could start foreclosure proceedings. If I could get paid for the freelance job, that would take care of a payment and a half, which would stop that possibility of foreclosure. But they’ve been dragging their heels since they were supposed to pay me the first week in August. I’m understandably angered by this. I did exactly what I was told to, responding to deadlines with turnaround times that turned on a dime, I went above and beyond to get their job done. The day after I was injured in the motorcycle accident, I worked for them for several hours even though if I had been working at a “real” job, I would’ve called in sick because I was in pain. I think a very strongly worded email to my contact on that job is in order, but I don’t know what else I could do. I am so frustrated with my current financial position. At least I have unemployment benefits, but it’s not even enough to pay my bills. I’m charging things like gas and toilet paper, which makes me absolutely crazy. But I don’t have any other choice. I have to drive and wipe my butt. *snickers* I said “butt.” *snickers more*

I’m considering a blog embargo. Hunky hasn’t been writing and has said more than a few times that I’m a better writer (which is complete hooey) and so perhaps I should declare that I will match his blog entries one for one to get him writing again. Whatcha think?

Kind of in the same vein, I wanted to put a “disclaimer” on here. I don’t want anyone to feel like I’m hiding anything, but what with The Hunk, The Rockstar, and The Dino, I wanted to mention that I avoid using our “real” names on here. Unless you want to believe I could fall in love with a man with first name The and last name Hunk and then also saddled The Offspring with similar unfortunate nom de plumes (plumi?) *snorty laugh* Also, my “real” name isn’t Dory, it’s what all my friends call me though. I have a very unique first name, and my thinking is that if I use my real name, it would be way to easy for Chester Molester to hunt me down and kidnap my boys. Not that he’d keep them, he’d totally bring them back, but they’d be all broken and whatnot, and I’d generally like to avoid that nasty situation. So there you go. That’s the fine print. I hope you’re not too bitter or feel like I’m trying to pull a fast one on ya. I’m just paranoid. All the voices in my head tell me this several times a day, so I must be right. Because it’s unanimous.

As if I didn’t have enough crap to waste my time on, I broke down and got on myspace. My user name there is 42wallabyway. So, like, bite the head off my chicken and wear it as a hat or whatever you kids do to *pathetically whines* beee myyy frieeeend.

OMG, I am such a dork that I just LOLd at myself.

Rip it, roll it, and punch it, dude.

Started playing on www.frazy.com and came up with yet another item to place on my To Do or Die list that I won’t be able to cross off for umpteen million years. Consider it a work in progress indefinitely. The movies, book, and music I added were either off the top of my head or on the bookcase in the office. There’s still three bookcases in the living room, one in the bedroom and at least four in the basement.

Rip it, roll it, and punch it, dude.

It seems no matter how much I get done, instead of feeling accomplished, I feel even more behind. My ppc has a task list feature complete with a reminder on the ‘today’ screen, so now I have digitized neuroticism.
I got all the boys’ clothes sorted and put away, but I haven’t even touched their winter clothes yet. I still have to sort through those and put into “still fits R”, “now fits D”, and “Goodwill” piles then get them put away in their dressers. While I’m at it, I’m going to force myself to give up a large chunk of my winter wardrobe. I have items that have been through at least three winters and never actually been worn.
Are you sitting down? Good. I finally started the curtains for the office tonight! Yay!
I filled out all the boys’ school forms and took them to open house at school to meet their teachers today. A Dinosaur-sized meltdown was narrowly avoided on the way into school. He was still being all weird after we got inside, so the teachers got a glimpse of the Crap Sandwiches he can serve up. I met both boys’ teachers. They both have regular teachers, then they both have Spec Ed teachers, Speech Therapists and Paras built into their IEPs. Rocky’s teacher seems to be just right for him, she’s pleasant but has good puttin-da-smackdown potential. I already knew his Spec Ed teacher, (and I like her) and his Para, so that was no surprise. Dino’s teacher is all brand-new and fresh-faced, and has absolutely no clue what’s about to hit him. His Spec Ed teacher seems fine and his Para too. School starts Tuesday. I’m waiting with bated breath right along with every other mom that has been at home all day long with the bored young’uns for the past 12-ish weeks. Tuesday morning at about 8:10am will find me on the way home from dropping the kids off for the first day of school and wishing that it was societally correct to chug a morning celebratory beer. The first day is a half day, wassup with that?! So kids start back Tuesday, ASL 3 starts in a week for yours truly, and Hunky’s back in school August 29. Wooooot.

Man, the summer has flown by. What with all the job applications and the couple freelancing jobs I picked up and tackling a multitude of mundane house projects, summer snuck right by me. I finished up the big freelance project I took on, but they’re dragging their heels on paying me, which really worries me. I was told at first that they would pay me a couple days after delivery of the project to the event, then when over a week went by, I im’d the main contact I had to tell him I hadn’t received a check yet, and he apologized profusely and said it would be more like three weeks since they were going to cut the check at their next meeting. They owe me over $1100, which I’ve already promised to the mortgage company. Then we got two certified letters from the IRS today reminding us that because of an oversight back in 2004, we owe an additional $870. Ain’t bein’ a grownup grand?!

I probably built up the naughty sex toy party and sign language combination a little too much, but that’s ok, right? Friday night I had a party, and a good time was had by all. I made walking tacos and many drank a little more than is socially correct. :) Anywho, a very good friend I made back in January-ish when I started hangin’ out in the Deaf community was there. Her husband had taught me a bunch of the more raunchy signs, and this knowledge came in very handy when there were a few times during the evening that I did a little interpreting between her and the Passion Party Consultant. I had to laugh when at one point the consultant stopped and said, “Wait, what was that sign again?!” If you want, go check out her website and if you order anything, we’ll get it to you. :)

Finally, Rebecca tagged me so you can blame her for the next rambling paragraph.
Why do I blog?
I suppose you deserve a better reason than “why not?”.
I started blogging in 2003 over at LiveJournal when me and the mister were separated. I wrote mostly to bitch vent. I wrote sporadically and sported this whole bitter-angsty vibe (as opposed to the cheery-angsty vibe? Duh.). In April I moved over to blogger and took the clean-slate opportunity to lighten the frick up. Now I blog to entertain/inform my real-life friends of the plot line on the Dory Show, and maybe even garner some attention from new victimes people out there in InternetLand. I also blog just because I enjoy writing. As I said yesterday, I just love words, and I always have. I love the emotions I evoke for myself and others, and I enjoy making words play nicely together. In my kindergarten play, I got to be the narrator because I was the only kid in class that could already read. All through school when the teacher assigned reading/writing exercises, the other kids groaned, but I was in my element. In those moments, it didn’t matter that I felt completely awkward socially, didn’t know quite how to fit in, and my peers didn’t know quite how to take me. It was just me and words and my imagination, and we got along fine.

Rip it, roll it, and punch it, dude.

I was just catching up with my blogs (I Heart Google Reader) and I just want to post this real quick then more later.

I couldn’t resist….

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well. An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly. You are also good at remembering information and convincing someone of your point of view. A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary. You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

In a way, that above surprises me, because sometimes I try to write and am totally disappointed in myself, completely sure that I have either completely bored or horrified anyone patient enough to pause upon my drivel. In a way, it doesn’t, because I know my writing doesn’t totally suck butt. And I just love words. I always have, all of my life. I love dictionaries, and thesauruses (thesauri?), reading and learning new things, and making words play together nicely.

In other news, Hunky and Dory (oh… my… gosh…. seriously, I just realized our “names” went together like that! *busts out laughing*) are cleaning. Not just cleaning; Gramma Cleaning. He’s all whipping the basement into submission and I did every bit of laundry we have AND completely cleaned out the boys’ dressers AND closets and now am in the process of reassembling everything back where it goes. We have a load in the back of the truck to go to the landfill, and a load to go to Goodwill. Go us!

Rebecca tagged me and you don’t even know how happy that made me! Someone out in Internet-land noticed me! Geez… I’m such a dork.
*does a little dance*
Alas, I can’t respond tonight because I’ve got a momentum going on my cleaning, and you know what happens when you slow down too long; it’s the kiss of death on your ambition, yo. I even gave up a couple hours next to the pool today. Color me Dedicated, I suppose. But tune in tomorrow for the meme, and (it’s the bonus plan, baby) hear all about how the naughty sex toy party I had Friday night and American Sign Language go together.

Rip it, roll it, and punch it, dudes… and chicks…

It’s July 13th, 1:00pm. The Bike is strapped into the back of the Ugly Truck as well as boys’ bikes, tents, camp stove, and other assorted torture camping paraphernalia. Our whole family is crammed into the cab, sitting four across the bench seat and the boys are sharing the middle seatbelt. The dog is also with us and is so excited she is alternately jumping from my lap to Hunk’s lap and back again and VIBRATING. I turn to Hunky and announce, “We ARE the Clampetts Go To Maui”. The truth hurts sometimes, folks.
The boys really enjoyed themselves. There was bike riding, and dirt, and new kids, and tents, and more dirt, and McDonald’s THREE TIMES. Ugh. My Great Idea of not packing any food and just buying it at the local grocery store, upon theory, was sound. But at 7:00am, after realizing at 12:30am that the cigarette lighter wasn’t working ERGO the mattress was rendered impotent, one doesn’t go grocery shopping. One hits the drive-through. Then, a few hours later, one doesn’t go grocery shopping, one takes a Much Needed Nap. McDonald’s. Three times. Ugh. My colon is still recuperating.
Elli digs camping. Of course it being a little chilly at night, she insisted upon sleeping IN the sleeping bag; and of course me being a huge pushover and confronted with her very best sad face complete with intermittent shivering, burrowing inside the sleeping was permitted. It helped her case that my feet were cold and she’s like a heater unto herself.
On the way home, what should have been a three hour tour turned into a five hour mobile sauna. Traffic was at a standstill for quite a while, and pressed for entertainment to divert our attention away from the absence of air conditioning, we started naming neighboring vehicles. Mr. Hunnert- Grand- Mobile RV cut off Mr. Motocross- Vacation and incited some road rage, and Ms. Eighties Hair, oblivious to the drama, carried out her entire makeup routine while she waited for traffic to pick back up. Ms. Hair- Twirler had a barking rat mini-chihuahua hopping from front to back to front to back to (well, in perpetuity) and Ms. RV- Bigger- Than- My- House let her huge black lab out of the camper to take a huge… well, I’ll spare you the details, but I had to cover the children’s eyes lest they be scarred for life.
Only Elli didn’t let the heat and boredom dampen her spirits. She greeted and charmed the pants off every person in vehicles in a 20 feet radius around us.

Notice the harness? This is the best thing you can buy for an exuberant ADD-addled Jack Russell Terrier. Very often only my white knuckled hand looped through the harness kept Elli from tumbling out the window to certain death. In her estimation, if her head stuck out the window is enjoyable, then her entire body stuck out the window is exhilarant and not at all death-defying. She is a furry toddler, completely fearless, ten feet tall and bulletproof.

In other news, I’ve moved back into the office even though the curtains have not been started. I just couldn’t stand having my house throw-up anymore. I had company coming on Friday, and desperate measures had to be taken. I’ve moved everything back into the office, but have not yet organized and put away everything. My To Do or Die List has got to be prioritized. Today it is clean the litterbox (check), email requesting project estimates (check), sweep and mop kitchen floor, spend one hour folding laundry, and send out three resumes (have to burn a portfolio CD for each). I’ve also promised the children I’d put up the tent in the backyard for them to play camping. I was going to put up both tents, but they ruined that with an immediate heated verbal altercation concerning who was not going into whose tent, that which would rival the the Quayle-Benson vice-presidential debate. It was promptly squashed soundly by my mommyencial pronouncement that There Here and Forthwith Will Be One Tent Raised Not Two.

I’ve taken the freelance graphic design business idea beyond “yeah, right” into “maybe I could actually do this”. What the hell? What better time to try to make this fly than when I’m collecting unemployment and seeking a “real” job anyway? I got on Amazon and splurged $60 on pipe-dream-encouraging literature such as

• 1 of: Graphic Artists Guild Handbook: Pricing & Ethical Guidelines (Graphic Artists Guild Handbook of Pricing and Ethical Guidelines)
• 1 of: Self-Promotion for the Creative Person: Get the Word Out About Who You Are and What You Do
• 1 of: Starting Your Career as a Freelance Illustrator or Graphic Designer
• 1 of: Business and Legal Forms for Graphic Designers (3rd Edition)

I’m made it all the way through “Starting your Career…” and halfway through “Self Promotion…” and I still think I could totally pull this off if I don’t let me get me. I am my own worst critic and no one else than yours truly is better at psyching me out, trash-talkin’ me, and self-sabotaging. Goodness, I’m just two more psychobabble terms away from “Codependant No More”. Yikes. (The other two books aren’t reading material so much as tools to use when it’s time to cross that bridge when we come to it). I’m going to get out the Bryan Dodge DVDs that The Seester loaned me and set up the “You Go, Me!!!” cheerleaders only section in my living room. I have a meeting with a client tonight about some posters I’m doing for him. I met with him last Thursday night and had sketches and estimates from the printer emailed to him by Friday 5pm, and on Sunday he requested a meeting with me tonight. I don’t know whether this is a Good Thing or a Bad Thing. One of my school textbooks advised, “Graphic designers must have hard hats and thick skins”. This is all too true.

I have made a submission to icanhascheeseburger. It has not yet made it to the voting page, but I’ll let you know when it does so I can shamelessly bribe you for votes. :)
On that note, I bid you a fond adieu.

Rip it, roll it, and punch it, dude.