Aw, YEAH, baby.

I haven’t even tried to hide how giddy it makes me to write about Photoshop.

You know when I made that announcement that I was writing Photoshop tutorials for Blissfully Domestic on their Photo Bliss channel, I was so giddy that I almost peed a little.

Now I’m proud to announce that I’m going to be doing a little thing I’d like to call Photoshop Phriday.

Before you Google that, I will admit, yes, someone else does a Photoshop Phriday. But that’s DIFFERENT because that website can tend to be on the raunchy side. I’d even go as far as to say VILE. This is just going to be sticking my Photoshop posts on the same day of the week. And unlike the other site, this is not going to involve incredibly grotesque, disturbing… yea, even nigh unto hurl-worthy pictures.

I gaze into my crystal ball and see test-driving my Photoshop tutorials on you, my dearest lovelies. I’ll share some goofy Photoshopping that I’ve done and hopefully make you laugh mighty mighty muchly.

If anyone else would like to join in, email me. I promise I’ll squee a little. Ok, a lot.

Now on this, the PREMIER Photoshop Phriday here at Casa de Dory, I present to you the badges I’ve made for this, such an auspicious occasion. That’s all I have for you today, because I’ve spent at least eight hours on them, I’M NOT EVEN KIDDING, and for the first time in a long time, I have HAD ENOUGH of Photoshop for one day.

Without further ado, I give you… THE BADGES.

OKILOVEYOUBUHBYELADY.

This just in…

An unnamed source has just disclosed that Dory is writing for Blissfully Domestic on their Photo Bliss Channel. Rumors had been flying around for a few days, but now there is proof: Dory’s first article has been published.

Supporters are strongly encouraged to show their backing by leaving a comment on said article using the most superlative hyperbole they can muster in their endorsement of this exceptional example of outstanding journalistic essay.

That is all.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled naval gazing.

Even if you’re not a Photoshopper, you are going to want to skim through this if only for the before and afters. Stay with me, now. Here we go.

Photoshopping. It’s not just for doctoring anorexic, highly compensated, arrogant supermodels anymore.

No, I’ve come up with the next best use of Photoshopping talent. Let me paint you a picture.

Have you ever done a family portrait sitting? It’s a nightmare. A dozen shots, and in every single one, somebody’s eyes are closed, or there’s a finger up the nose, or someone’s looking for UFOs, or doing a ninja stealth karate chop, or crossing their eyes, or sticking out their tongue, or baring their teeth like a rabid Doberman, or sporting an inappropriate maniacal poop-consuming grin.

Allow me to show you a small example of how Family Portraits + Photoshopping = Millionaire. How has no one come up with this yet?

Here’s a picture of Slim (he’s the more equine of the two) and Rocky.
I like Slim’s expression, but Rocky looks ticked off.

Here’s another picture of them, but in this one,
Slim has a rather unflattering face and Rocky looks pretty content.

Gosh, I sure wish I had gone to school to learn to use Photoshop and borrowed tons of money that I would be repaying for the rest of my natural life. Or at least spent the equivalent of our nation’s yearly defense budget on Photoshop text books. Which, by the way, were obsolete five minutes after the UPS guy delivered them. Oh, wait, I’ve done both of those things!

Alright; let’s get to work.

Take a look at the shots and decide which will be the target and which will be the source. It’s pretty obvious that it’s going to be much quicker and less pain to decapitate and reattach Rocky’s head than Slim’s.

I grabbed the Marquee tool (shortcut ‘M’) to select Rocky’s contented expression. If you want to switch Marquee Shapes, Sh+M cycles through. I love to use the keyboard shortcuts because it’s so much quicker than a sweep of the mouse. Wow, now that I just re-read that sentence, I realized I’m just the typical product of our gotta-have-it-now, every-millisecond-counts American culture. ANYwaaaay… next I hit Cmd-C to copy the selection…

…and then switched to the other shot and hit Cmd-V to paste.
Alternately, you could drag and drop if you’re so inclined.

Next, I used the Move tool (shortcut ‘V’) to drag Rocky’s happy head to cover the cranky head.

With the Move tool still selected, I rotated his head to line it up with his shoulders.

Then I remembered a little trick to line stuff up easily…
change the Opacity to 50%, it’s hiding right under the Layers tab.

Wow, I was waaaaay off! I nudged it with my directional arrows keys.
I think I’ve got it lined up as close as it’s gonna get.

I changed the Opacity back to 100%. So far so good!

Next, I grabbed the Eraser tool. I made the size 100 pixels, and Hardness 0% to make the edges of the brush super fuzzy.

Click the Eraser tool all around the hard edge that the selection left behind to blend it softly into the target.

I back up and take a look to make sure that it’s blended and natural…

Annndddd Tah-daaaaaah!

Now that I’ve shown you how I did it, let me show you how I put it into practice on my Family Portrait scenario.

At first glance, these next three shots would seem to be all outtakes, completely unsuitable for display up on the refrigerator, let alone the fireplace mantel.

Everyone except Dino was looking away.

Rocky looks great, but everyone else was looking away.

Rocky’s looking away, and I can’t wait to show this to Dino’s first girlfriend. What exactly is he doing?!

Yet, using these three seemingly throw-away shots and the formidable powers of Photoshop, I submit for your approval…

For that shot, I didn’t use the Eraser tool, I used layer masks because it was a little trickier with the more complicated background. If you want, I’ll show you this non-destructive technique another day. But we’re gonna need a fifth of your favorite alcohol and a shot glass, a whisk, super glue, a plunger, an aardvark, a blowtorch, and a crane. You round up all those items, and let me know when you’re ready.

Rip it, roll it, and punch it, dude. Family Portraits + Photoshopping = Millionaire.

My point-n-shoot, A Kodak Easyshare V1003, takes absolutely horrible pictures in low light. But like a white knight in shining adjustment layers, Photoshop swoops in to save this damsel in distress.

Before:

After a hit of Levels, a generous dose of Image -> Adjustments -> Shadow/Highlight, and a squirt of Filter -> Noise -> Reduce Noise, and finally a crop job…
Taaa Daaaaaa!

I so shiny sequin heart Photoshop.

I just wish he’d clean up after his damn horse.

Oh, and in case you were wondering about the matching mischievous grins, let’s just say there was a query into the alleged presence or absence of certain garments.

Rip it, roll it, and punch it, dude. Watch for “land mines” on your way out. This damsel already has to hose down her boots.