Yet another “Best of 2009″ post to clog up your Google Reader! Woo Hoo!

Top Pet Peeve About 2010

I can’t give you a sensible reason for this little bit of craziness, but I absolutely abhor the phrase “twenty ten.” Every time I hear someone say that, it makes my eye twitch. “Two thousand ten” will do nicely, thankyouverymuch. Is this just me being insane, or is anyone else in this particular crazy boat with me?

Top 10 Commenters

These folks were nice enough to leave me little nuggets of verbal cocaine this year. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your kind words and two cents, Mah Peepull.

1. CityGirl (62)
2. fatboyfat (13)
3. Andi (12)
4. Tom (12)
5. Heather (11)
6. Jocelyn (9)
7. BrownEyedGirl (8)
8. Musing (8)
9. Trienne (8)
10. Raven (8)

Top 10 Viewed Posts

Last year, my top viewed posts were mostly people coming to a certain post from another blogger’s page. I saw a lot more traffic from search engines this year.

1. How to play with Pieces of Flair on Facebook (warning: SEVERE TIME SUCK.) (444)
2. I’d like to call this meeting to order… (402)
3. Dory Data (181)
4. Photoshop Phriday #6: Make Those Eyes POP! (166)
5. Coming soon to a sarcastic inappropriate greeting card line near you! (164)
6. You’re looking right up her skirt. (141)
7. Now I’m deaf AND I have a goose-egg on my forehead from bashing it on my desk. HAWSUM. (130)
8. Joyce Meyer 27th Annual Women’s Conference (123)
9. Joyce Meyer 26th Annual Women’s Conference (122)
10. Photoshop Phriday #5: Drawing Attention with Selective Color (110)

Top Referrers

Again, different from last year. For the most part, traffic came from DeafRead and various social media rather than from other bloggers. This coming year I’m going to try to comment more on others’ blogs to change that.

1. deafread.com (328)
2. countrygirl-citygirl.blogspot.com (136)
3. google.com/reader/view (130)
4. twitter.com/dorydorydory (128)
5. blogexplosion.com/members/surf.php (59)
6. blogger.com/profile/14433908788658936… probably people clicking on me in others’ comment sections(47)
7. facebook.com/home.php? (45)
8. 42wallabywaysydney.blogspot.com My old blog, now closed (40)
9. wiki.onehertz.com/WordPress/Mandigo/S… (39)
10. entrecard.com/category/browser?catego… (35)

Top 12 Posts

The best post from each month handpicked by yours truly.

January– I wish I had a nickel for every time I heard or read the word HOPE today.

“…I wouldn’t be able to stay where he could find me; I didn’t trust either of us. I didn’t trust him to let me go without manipulative speech to wear me down, or physical pain when that didn’t work. I didn’t trust myself to stand up to his physical presence and promises of change that had never been honored in the past.”

February– You could stumble/kirtsy/digg it. Or open your window and yell. You know; whatever works.

“…It was simply astonishing. I can hear the police car before I see it in the mirror, the birds, conversation… oh, and music. Oh, wow. Oh, wow oh wow oh wow. Music sounds right. Since my mids are gone, I can’t hear melody well at all, so music sounded… off. I can hear the bass parts well and some background, so it ends up odd or off-key unless I turn it waaay up, enough that it would do damage and prematurely deafen me. Which reminds me of another cool little extra… because these have like a noise-canceling little stopper inside the ear, it actually protects my cochlea from loud noise damage. When loud noise hits the receiver, it actually turns it down before it transmits the sound to my cochlea, so I still hear it some, but it’s buffered a little bit to avoid further damage…”

March– Consider the economy duly stimulated.

“…New Ears… New Job… New Phone… New Furnace… New Computer… …The rest of it goes to *sigh* BILLS. But I certainly can’t complain. It’s just so amazing to me how God makes sure we have everything we need and even some things we want. We’re so blessed…”

April– Top Ten Reasons You Know You’re on Graveyard Shift

“…7. If you have a high-energy dog such as, say, a Jack Russell, you catch her vibrating while she’s standing still because she insisted on sleeping 6 hours with spouse and 8 hours with you. She has so much energy she can’t even stand herself. The vibrating reaches a fever pitch. Then her head explodes…”

May–The One Where She Narrowly Avoided a Punch in the Throat a Little Bit

“So, My Writing Mojo has been MIA for a couple months now. I came just short of putting out an APB when she flounced in unceremoniously this morning, dropped her bag on the floor, flopped on the couch with her feet up on one arm, and turned on the TV…”

June– Coming soon to a sarcastic inappropriate greeting card line near you!

“Just in case you hadn’t noticed, I am a talented and very serious artist. I call this… Mixed Message. (Only click through if there are no bosses, kiddies, kitties, members of the clergy, Dakota Fanning, or baskets of fluffy chicks and goslings present.)…”

July– The Top Ten Items to Donate to Mission of Hope or YOUR Local Mission

“The Mission of Hope has been busier than ever lately; even busier than after last year’s flood, and that’s really saying something. Supply is short and needs are long. What? What’s that you said? “Really, Dory, I had no idea! How can I help?”…”

August– She’s gettin’ a tattoo, She’s gettin’ ink done, She asked for a 13 but they drew a 31…

“Well, I’ve been threatening to get a Dory tattoo for several months now, and today I put my needle where my mouth is.”

September– Joyce Meyer 27th Annual Women’s Conference

“Once upon a time last Thursday, three Godsisters went to St. Louis. And it was even better than last year! Outside the Edward Jones Dome, they took their own picture right before they went in for the first session of the Joyce Meyer Women’s Conference…”

October– I can’t unsee whut I saw’d

“…The world went into slow motion plus extreme close-up, and as I went by, I saw him turn his head and mouth a tiny, afraid MEW….”

November– The Veteran’s Day Edition

“…I am a veteran. I just wish I could have been a better one.”

December– The snow flies and Cedar Rapids screams like a little bitty girl.

“These pics aren’t great, but I was just outside smoking and took them with my trusty iPhone to share with you. They’ll have to do, I suppose…”

Top Big Sigh of Relief That I Don’t Have to Award The Top Tall Finger From Last Year

All in all, 2009 was much better than 2008, THANK GOD.

2009 brought me hearing aids, which brought me back phone use and a JOB that (bonus plan, baby!) I LOVE. 2009 also brought me some freelance graphic work, sales of my photography, and Tom’s graduation with his BSW.

Here’s to 2010 with an abundance of love, happiness, and prosperity for all of us.

Luke 2

The Birth of Jesus

¹In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. ²(This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) ³And everyone went to his own town to register.

⁴So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. ⁵He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. ⁶While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, ⁷and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

The Shepherds and the Angels

⁸And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night.⁹An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. ¹⁰But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. ¹¹Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ^[a] the Lord. ¹²This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

¹³Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
¹⁴“Glory to God in the highest,
and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests.”

¹⁵When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

¹⁶So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger.¹⁷When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, ¹⁸and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. ¹⁹But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. ²⁰The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

A very Merry Christmas from HunkyDory & Co. to you and yours, along with our best wishes for a prosperous and happy new year!

As promised, here are pictures from HunkyDory’s cardboard testimonies.

Oh, please; I’m a graphic artist, for pete’s sake. I had to use a special font. It’s an obsession, really.

I’ll tell you more of the story behind these later. I’m still recovering from working this weekend. The biggest effort I’ve been able to exert today has been to move from the bed to the couch and watch House.

I just checked YouTube and the video is not up yet for our church’s event. I’ll keep checking.

Search for all “cardboard testimonies” on YouTube.

Once upon a time last Thursday, three Godsisters went to St. Louis. And it was even better than last year!

Outside the Edward Jones Dome, they took their own picture right before they went in for the first session of the Joyce Meyer Women’s Conference.

They watched Glenda sign “The Star Spangled Banner.”

One of them laid down in the sidewalk to take weird pictures in front of a mirror sculpture. Another one stood there and wondered why the first one was so weird.

They walked around downtown St. Louis and took in the sights.

They had a complete stranger take their picture.

They trailed their fingers in the fountain.

They had lunch at TGIFridays outside on the sidewalk.

They got a blister so they kicked off their shoes and relaxed.

They stopped and smelled took pictures of the roses hibiscus

They laid on the concrete hot from the afternoon sun.

They waxed patriotic while they waited for the shuttle bus to the Dome.

They went for one more walk through downtown and craned their necks at the skyscrapers. (Some of those windows are painted on!)

They held up Glo Sticks with 10,000 other women. And learned some stuff. And laughed. And cried.

And… no, wait, that’s it. They got back in the car and drove home, and they lived happily ever after.

Except, one of those lucky maidens got to go to work at midnight. One of the other lucky maidens got to go to work at 8am to relieve the first lucky maiden. The last lucky maiden pointed and laughed at the first two lucky maidens. (Not really. She’s not that mean.)

Mah feed reader peepull: click over to see a pictobrowser of the the entire set of pics with notes on many of them.

You may have seen my tweet about the tax refund coming (Well, helloooOOOoooOOOooo Mr. Tax Refund! Come to Mama!) and lots of huge changes came with it.

New Ears

First of all, HunkyDory paid it forward. Much thanks from the bottom of my heart to all who helped me get my new ears. They’ve been working fabulously! That money that was given to us for the HAs has been paid forward plus some extra. So your gift did double duty, first to me, and now a gift to someone else in need.

Just as I was getting used to the new HAs, I had a setback last weekend. I had sharp, stabbing pains in my left ear on and off all day Friday. I get these once in awhile and really didn’t think much of it. It feels kind of like a bad toothache except in my ear. But when I put in my HAs on Saturday morning, it felt like the left one wasn’t working at all. I tried new batteries, and that didn’t work. I tried sticking the receiver of the left aid in my right ear and realized it was actually working fine; it was my ear that was the problem. I went in to the audiologist today, and when he peeked in there, he didn’t see anything abnormal. He said I needed to go see an ENT doc because he had done all he could do. I asked him if he could just turn up the left so I wasn’t so lopsided. He was all, “Sure, no problem” and we went into the office and plugged the aid into the computer. He said, “I’m going to turn this up about 3db and we’ll see if that does it.” Nothing. No difference. He looked a little puzzled and said, “I’ll turn it up another 4db.” Zip. Like he hadn’t turned it up at all. He looked a little worried, turned it back down, and said we’ll have to see what the ENT says. So I can hear almost nothing on the left and it rings almost constantly and is a lot louder than I’m used to. If you’re so inclined, I’d sure appreciate it if you remembered me in your prayers, because it’s seriously freaking me out. I’ve never experienced a decay this noticeable this fast before. I hope it’s just something temporary that they can fix, because it would seriously suck ass to lose a bunch more hearing when I feel like I just got it back.

New job

I’m working at a homeless shelter now, part-time overnights, on the weekends. The new HAs made that possible. I couldn’t do this before because there’s only one staff member on at a time and you have to be able to answer the phone. Even with the volume at maximum I still can’t catch every word, but I understand most of the conversation.

My very first night, the cops called to see if we could give someone slightly inebriated an emergency cot, and I had to tell them we had already told the person earlier that we wouldn’t; then someone else came in way past curfew all upset and I dealt with that. Talk about getting thrown in the deep end!

I think I’ll like this job a lot. When things are quiet, you can do about whatever you want to, except sleep. So hopefully I’ll have more time to read and write. I’ve been so stinkin’ busy the last couple months, I have a list of post subjects as long as my arm, and I’m really looking forward to getting more writing done. Oh, and call me Captain Obvious, but I just gotta say, overnights seriously throw your sleep schedule all kinds of out of whack!

New phone

After salivating over the iPhone for almost two years, I finally got my hot little hands on one.

It’s so frickin’ hawsum, I want to buy it a shot of tequila and tongue kiss it and ask it if it wants to come in for “coffee” and buy it breakfast in the morning and call it the next day and court it and tell it that I don’t want to have any more kids but I would if it would make it happy and take it to Vegas and marry it in a drive-through wedding chapel with an Elvis impersonator officiating and live happily ever after.

It needs a name. Now taking suggestions.

Since Hunky felt sorry for my poor jilted Tilt, he took it in and gave it a new home on his hip. It’s very thankful. Actually, it runs on Windoze though, so it probably is nursing an arrogant, false sense of entitlement. It totally has Hunky pegged as a soft touch, and it’s all acting out and testing him. I have to step in now and then and use my scary mom voice to coerce it into submission. It’s kind of a snotty little shithead.

New furnace

This came about not because of the tax refund but I’m throwing it in there because 1- It matches with the “New ___” theme I’ve got going here and B- It’s just so hawsum. We applied for energy assistance a couple months ago and, thank God, were given credit on our gas bill. I had to sign something about completing a weatherization thing on our house and didn’t think much of it. So a couple weeks later, this guy came in and said, “Oh, this furnace has got to go.” And I was all, “Because you know the furnace fairy personally and she owes you a favor?” and he was all, “Uh, well, you don’t have to pay for it.” and I was all, *speechless* because I’m quick and witty like that.

Let me just tell you how old our furnace was. The house was built in 1948 and it’s original. It’s a bonafide antique. Somewhere along the line, it was converted from coal to gas. It still had the hieroglyphics on it from when my house was a cave and dinosaurs roamed the earth.

Six estimates later, we have a bright, shiny new furnace and my basement really couldn’t be more happy to welcome the new guy. It takes up half the space. It’s 92% efficient compared to the old 60-ish% efficient dinosaur. It’s handsome and smart and charismatic and sexy.

New computer

My beloved iMac, Edgrr, is four and a half years old, and I was starting to really worry about it pooping out or crashing when I have graphics jobs lined up to get done. Obviously, we haven’t exactly had a couple extra thousand dollars lying around to get a new Mac. Well, my friend Marcia knew that I was a complete mac nut and told me a friend of hers had a Macbook for sale, only one year old and all tricked out (4gb RAM and 500gb hard drive!) to be able to handle graphics work. I told her I was really super interested and she hooked us up. We emailed back and forth on Friday, and the UPS man visited me TODAY! I can’t wait to move into it! *claps hands excitedly* As we speak, I have the Carbon Copy Cloner copying the hard drive on the old computer, and I’ll start moving into the new laptop tomorrow after I get off work and get a nap. This laptop is going to come in really handy when I’m working these overnights. We now have three Macs in our house.

Again, with the name-needing. Now taking suggestions.

New… wait, what?

To wrap up, HunkyDory has done their part. Consider the economy duly stimulated.

Dory didn’t get ALL the good stuff. Just most of it. Hunky got the parts to make his Virago AND his Intercepter run, and the Virago will get some plastic surgery to get a new paint job and take out the dent in the fuel tank. We are still batting around the idea of finding a used Wii so the boys will also get some happy happy from the tax refund even though the little turds probably don’t deserve it. I can’t get them to finish their chore list every day for a week to save their life! We told Rocky that if he would finish all his chores consistently, we would keep him in minutes and texts on his cell phone. It is currently a glorified paperweight.

The rest of it goes to *sigh* BILLS. But I certainly can’t complain. It’s just so amazing to me how God makes sure we have everything we need and even some things we want. We’re so blessed.

What’d you spend your tax refund on?