If you wanted me broken, God, here I am. In front of You and everybody, I am broken. I’ve got the crying hangover and hurt heart to prove it. Now what do You want me to do?
Comments Off
Archive for the “God rawks” CategoryWhat about me? This is my red flag. I can be merrily rolling along, the sky’s blue, the birds are singing just for me, when something lands (THUD.) Right in the middle of my perfectly good day. And it doesn’t exactly smell like roses. It offends my delicate sensabilities, and it might even make my lip curl. Sometimes I don’t even recognize this, but… at that moment, I have a choice. I can choose right thinking, and extend people involved some grace and the benefit of the doubt. Or I can choose wrong thinking, and start spinning conspiracy theories. I might have a well-timed tantrum if the wind blows right. I might even enlist innocent bystanders into my battle, and get them riled up for the cause. In the middle of my self-righteous railing against a situation I have minimal control over, my grumbling and complaining might have even reached fever pitch before the star of my pity party shows up. But here it comes. In 3… 2… 1… What about me? There it is. And we’re off! How dare they take the good stuff and leave me leftovers! What about me? Don’t I deserve good stuff too? How dare they leave me out of that decision! What about me? Don’t I deserve a say? How dare they push me aside! What about me? Don’t I deserve to be front and center? How dare they leave me out of the loop! What about me? Don’t I deserve to be in the know as well? How dare they not consider how I feel! What about me? Don’t I deserve to be heard? How dare they be abrupt with me! What about me? Don’t I deserve to be treated well? How dare they pass me over! What about me? Don’t I deserve to be seen? What. About. ME? WHAT. ABOUT. ME? Sometimes I catch that red flag right away. Sometimes I need Tom to wave that red flag. But hopefully, eventually, I see that red flag emblazoned with the war cry of selfishness – WHAT ABOUT ME. And hopefully, eventually, I heed that red flag and stop and think. Because… new flash… It’s not about me. It shouldn’t be. If I’m making it about me, my whole raison d’etre is wrong. If I’m making it about God, I’m on the right track. Because if I make it about serving Him in my every step, my every breath, every heartbeat, then He will take care of the rest, much better than I ever could have done. When I work, when I play; when I serve my husband, when I serve my sons; I’ve got to be doing it for God, not for me. For this moment, right now, I’ve got that straight. But I’m sure I’ll see that stupid red flag soon. Probably in a few minutes. I’m kind of dense like that sometimes. I just pray that I see it and then make the right choice before any major damage is done. Yet another “Best of 2009″ post to clog up your Google Reader! Woo Hoo! Top Pet Peeve About 2010I can’t give you a sensible reason for this little bit of craziness, but I absolutely abhor the phrase “twenty ten.” Every time I hear someone say that, it makes my eye twitch. “Two thousand ten” will do nicely, thankyouverymuch. Is this just me being insane, or is anyone else in this particular crazy boat with me? Top 10 CommentersThese folks were nice enough to leave me little nuggets of verbal cocaine this year. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your kind words and two cents, Mah Peepull.
Top 10 Viewed PostsLast year, my top viewed posts were mostly people coming to a certain post from another blogger’s page. I saw a lot more traffic from search engines this year.
Top ReferrersAgain, different from last year. For the most part, traffic came from DeafRead and various social media rather than from other bloggers. This coming year I’m going to try to comment more on others’ blogs to change that.
Top 12 PostsThe best post from each month handpicked by yours truly. January– I wish I had a nickel for every time I heard or read the word HOPE today. “…I wouldn’t be able to stay where he could find me; I didn’t trust either of us. I didn’t trust him to let me go without manipulative speech to wear me down, or physical pain when that didn’t work. I didn’t trust myself to stand up to his physical presence and promises of change that had never been honored in the past.” February– You could stumble/kirtsy/digg it. Or open your window and yell. You know; whatever works. “…It was simply astonishing. I can hear the police car before I see it in the mirror, the birds, conversation… oh, and music. Oh, wow. Oh, wow oh wow oh wow. Music sounds right. Since my mids are gone, I can’t hear melody well at all, so music sounded… off. I can hear the bass parts well and some background, so it ends up odd or off-key unless I turn it waaay up, enough that it would do damage and prematurely deafen me. Which reminds me of another cool little extra… because these have like a noise-canceling little stopper inside the ear, it actually protects my cochlea from loud noise damage. When loud noise hits the receiver, it actually turns it down before it transmits the sound to my cochlea, so I still hear it some, but it’s buffered a little bit to avoid further damage…” March– Consider the economy duly stimulated. “…New Ears… New Job… New Phone… New Furnace… New Computer… …The rest of it goes to *sigh* BILLS. But I certainly can’t complain. It’s just so amazing to me how God makes sure we have everything we need and even some things we want. We’re so blessed…” April– Top Ten Reasons You Know You’re on Graveyard Shift “…7. If you have a high-energy dog such as, say, a Jack Russell, you catch her vibrating while she’s standing still because she insisted on sleeping 6 hours with spouse and 8 hours with you. She has so much energy she can’t even stand herself. The vibrating reaches a fever pitch. Then her head explodes…” May–The One Where She Narrowly Avoided a Punch in the Throat a Little Bit “So, My Writing Mojo has been MIA for a couple months now. I came just short of putting out an APB when she flounced in unceremoniously this morning, dropped her bag on the floor, flopped on the couch with her feet up on one arm, and turned on the TV…” June– Coming soon to a sarcastic inappropriate greeting card line near you! “Just in case you hadn’t noticed, I am a talented and very serious artist. I call this… Mixed Message. (Only click through if there are no bosses, kiddies, kitties, members of the clergy, Dakota Fanning, or baskets of fluffy chicks and goslings present.)…” July– The Top Ten Items to Donate to Mission of Hope or YOUR Local Mission “The Mission of Hope has been busier than ever lately; even busier than after last year’s flood, and that’s really saying something. Supply is short and needs are long. What? What’s that you said? “Really, Dory, I had no idea! How can I help?”…” August– She’s gettin’ a tattoo, She’s gettin’ ink done, She asked for a 13 but they drew a 31… “Well, I’ve been threatening to get a Dory tattoo for several months now, and today I put my needle where my mouth is.” September– Joyce Meyer 27th Annual Women’s Conference “Once upon a time last Thursday, three Godsisters went to St. Louis. And it was even better than last year! Outside the Edward Jones Dome, they took their own picture right before they went in for the first session of the Joyce Meyer Women’s Conference…” October– I can’t unsee whut I saw’d “…The world went into slow motion plus extreme close-up, and as I went by, I saw him turn his head and mouth a tiny, afraid MEW….” November– The Veteran’s Day Edition “…I am a veteran. I just wish I could have been a better one.” December– The snow flies and Cedar Rapids screams like a little bitty girl. “These pics aren’t great, but I was just outside smoking and took them with my trusty iPhone to share with you. They’ll have to do, I suppose…” Top Big Sigh of Relief That I Don’t Have to Award The Top Tall Finger From Last YearAll in all, 2009 was much better than 2008, THANK GOD. 2009 brought me hearing aids, which brought me back phone use and a JOB that (bonus plan, baby!) I LOVE. 2009 also brought me some freelance graphic work, sales of my photography, and Tom’s graduation with his BSW. Here’s to 2010 with an abundance of love, happiness, and prosperity for all of us.
|
|
||||
|
|
||||
Luke 2
<- Subscribe
Subscribe ->
Entries (RSS)